Find The Humor In It...

Seven Days To Go

August 5, 2010 7:58 PM

That piece of cake I saved is near
one big slice; I have no fear,
besides no pounds will even show,
'cause I've got 7 days to go.

A day of shopping, to the mall we go
for a burger special, it's cheaper you know.
I'll walk it off, I have no fear,
6 days to go, no weigh-in near.

I think I'll skip my lunch,
a devil dog is what I'll munch,
tuna costs a lot you know,
beside I've got 5 days to go.

For breakfast, one egg, toast and juice,
kids left their pancakes, oh what's the use,
with costs so high, to waste is a sin.
Besides its 4 days till I weigh-in.

comments (2)

Thanks for all those email warnings ...

July 28, 2010 6:45 AM

As we progress into the year 2010, I want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. I am totally messed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose.

comments (0)

Don't you just hate it when ...

July 20, 2010 1:49 PM

Don't you just hate it when some people say things like, "You know, sometimes I forget to eat!"? Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, where my car was parked and when to pick up my kids, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of forgetful to do THAT!

Don't you just hate it when you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes?

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One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the people struggling with their diets.

July 6, 2010 6:42 PM

Two thirds had become overweight or obese and less than 3% were able to lose weight and successfully keep it off.

Of all the prayers God listened to, a majority came from the 84 million dieters each day looking for strength and support. But despite all the fruits, vegetables, running shoes and motivational meetings He sent their way, very few stuck with their diets.

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The REAL cause of heart disease...

June 26, 2010 5:11 AM

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

comments (0)

Enjoy the sag ...

May 25, 2010 5:34 AM

AFTER years of unsuccessful dieting,
a woman finally lost a significant
amount of weight and reached her goal.
When her clothes began to sag, a
co-worker suggested she alter them
to fit her new figure. 

“Not now,” the woman protested.
“Let me enjoy the sag for a little
while first!”

comments (0)

Amazing ...

May 18, 2010 9:44 PM

You hang something in your closet for a while
and it shrinks 2 sizes!

click to read more

comments (0)