DIETING THROUGH THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE

When I started my “bajillionth” and last diet in 2001, I didn’t tell anyone except my girlfriend Cathy, my husband Mark, and my children that I was starting something new. I had started so many times before and stopped that I just didn’t want anyone knowing right away. Besides, if I really did stick with it, it would be fun to surprise everyone, especially my parents who were so concerned for my health.

But surprising my parents was not to be. Just three days after joining Weight Watchers® for the last time, my wonderful, beloved father had a heart attack and died the next day. He never knew his prayers for his little girl had finally been answered.

In the midst of deep grief, and without much practice in counting POINTS® or planning my days—and surrounded by an overwhelming quantity of catered food and other people’s cooking—I did my best to stay with it. I don’t know why. I was so full of grief, I didn’t care very much at that point, and no one even knew I was dieting.

I kept telling myself that it would have been so easy to put it off for another time. No one would blame me. With all the stress and grief, who would expect me to keep dieting? The timing just wasn’t right, right? But something inside me had changed. I was ready to try again for the first time in ages, and I quietly stuck with it.

In the days that followed, we traveled to Massachusetts, Maine, and back home to Connecticut to get plans and affairs in order. We drove for hours. We ate out. Friends brought meals. A week later, on the morning of Daddy’s memorial service, with a house full of extended family and catered food, I crept down the stairs. It was very early in the morning and I was planning on eating whatever I could that was on the table. I was tired of trying to figure out POINTS® and I missed my dad. Who could blame me for giving up after all this? I was ready for a serious binge.

I walked toward the table, plate in hand. The first dish I reached for was an apple crisp, nestled in among all the other goodies. There was a note on top: “Low-Fat Apple Crisp: only two points per cup.”

I don’t even know how it got there or where it came from, but it was all I needed to stick with it. I had two cups of Apple Crisp with my coffee and I was ready to face the day.

I Corinthians 10:13 says, “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape that you can bear up under it.” That apple crisp was my “way of escape,” and it was exactly what I needed at that moment.

Two weeks later I returned to Weight Watchers®—and I’d lost more than seven pounds. That was just the beginning.

Through it all, I found something I never expected. Sticking with my diet was one of the things that brought me peace and joy during those grief-filled months following daddy’s death. Many of you are faced with difficult, challenging, stress-filled circumstances and may be afraid that because of them it isn’t the right time for you to work on the weight you want to lose. Well, it may not be. BUT you may find an inner happiness you didn’t expect to find that comes from knowing that you’re doing something for yourself that you want and need to do. You know that feeling, when you lay your head on your pillow at night with a smile because you “did it” one more day.

Let the success of your diet give you some small measure of joy and strength when you face tough times, instead of letting the difficult circumstances pull you away from your diet.

I often wonder—if I had given up right after daddy died, would I have ever gone back? Where would I be now?

Comments

larp said,

March 21, 2010 9:16 PM

Thank God for you! I read your book and then found your web site. I had given up on me for so many reason. I found so many excuses .This time is it! I hit my lowest and woke up! God is in control and I 'm along for the ride. Since March the 5 th today date I have lost 11 pounds. I have along way to go but it's not the distance of the trip it's all the stops along the way i am going to enjoy. Each mile stone is with in reach. God Bless you!!!Because of everything you went through you have inspired and helped so many. I love your web site and I am so happy to be a mbr. Again Thanks Leann

Babs said,

March 19, 2010 10:19 AM

Oops. Sorry for the lack of detail! I got a little excited in sharing (as you can see, I can be loquacious). Thanks for filling in what I left out, Jo. :)

I have to go get a cortisone shot in my rhomboid this morning, and then do my shopping spree at Costco. Please hold me in your prayers as pain and food often are a disastrous pair for me...

Also, Kim: what do I do with all this spare skin left over from weight loss and child bearing (three c-sections, to be precise)? If you have any non-surgical suggestions, please share! I don't really care about looking great in my birthday suit...

NightowlTJRD said,

March 18, 2010 9:18 PM

That was so much fun!! I didn't know what to follow more, the chat, Kim,or that tickertape that gave me a headache. Everyone was complaining about it so maybe it will be alot slower next week!! The first thing I did was go to the store and I bought the molds(can't wait to make the jello)and the little cakes. I also love those choc. covered marshmallows!! Another beautiful day on the East Coast!! The only thing I don't like about the warm weather is that I have to be out of my apartment by Summer. So "Kimmies" I have a prayer request please...I really need to find a nice place I can move to that will take "Section 8" and my baby Max. My mother actually said to me that if it comes down to it I might have to get rid of Max. I just looked at her and said,"You might as well ask me to get rid of my child!!" Then I started crying. I would rather be homeless than get rid of Max!!! But I know it wouldn't come down to that. I may not be married to my husband anymore, but I know his family wouldn't leave me homeless. I just need to find a nice place. Take care all!!
T T F N!!
Tammy (Nightowl)

janechia said,

March 18, 2010 6:16 PM

Nope..haven't received mine either. I waited all day yesterday and today for it. I think Kim mentioned yesterday in the blogs that it would be late.

See you all tonight!

Hugs,

Jane

bama girl said,

March 18, 2010 5:55 PM

Has anyone received the new e-newsletter today? I still have not. Hope everyone is doing
well.
Pat

TruBrit said,

March 18, 2010 3:58 PM

Margaret, you're welcome :)
Jo.

maggiebaby said,

March 18, 2010 3:34 PM

Thanks, Jo. I had read that before, but had forgotten that important tidbit til you said that. Thanks again:)

Margaret:)

TruBrit said,

March 18, 2010 3:18 PM

Hi Babs, you sound so much better today.

Yes I am meat and fish free for almost a year now. I do love Quinoa as a change from brown rice. I have been scouring my recipe book today and think I'm going to try making a whole wheat pizza from scratch this weekend. I don't think I can mess that up too much.

Maggiebaby, a quick tip for the Quinoa is to rinse it first just like you would with lentils. The Quinoa can have a bitter taste otherwise. Yes you can use any kind of broth or stock cube for flavour.

Jo.

maggiebaby said,

March 18, 2010 3:01 PM

Babs, I'm assuming I could use a vegetable or chicken broth for the liquid also?
Margaret:)

Babs said,

March 18, 2010 12:00 PM

okey dokey...

The BASIC recipe I use is 2c liquid + 1c quinoa. I put the quinoa and liquid in a small saucepan, bring it to a boil, then cover and simmer until the liquid is absorbed - usually about 15 minutes, but it depends on the liquid or if you make a double-recipe.

Then comes the fun part! Customization!

Mainly, I use Better Than Bouillon (any flavor depending on the main dish you're serving. Check out their website for the options they offer: http://www.superiortouch.com/retail/products/better-than-bouillon

If you prefer, you can use regular bouillon.

From there, I like to add about two tablespoons of chopped (or sliced) almonds, or pecans or walnuts, and about a teaspoon of spices (depending on the nuts. I like dill or tarragon. You can use fresh, chopped parsley or basil. Cilantro is pretty strong, so use that one sparingly. Cumin is also fun with the cilantro. Mix and match!). I like to add some kind of dried fruit, too, depending on the spices/nuts. I always have Mediterranean apricots, dried cherries, dried blueberries, and dried cranberries on-hand. Throw in some garbanzos or black beans and some broccoli/cauliflower florets (and/or any other veggie) at the end and you have yourself a main dish!

OR...

You can use cranberry or orange juice for the liquid. Then you can eat it for breakfast (with a dash of cinnamon or nutmeg)! There are low-calorie versions of both juices. This configuration also works well with fish baked or grilled with fruity salsa or compote. Or poultry done similarly.

If I have a little left over, I like to heat it up and put it on top of my salad. I do that with brown rice, too.

I wonder what it would be like using tomato or vegetable juice? If you try that, let me know how it turns out, please!

Quinoa is my favorite grain. It's cool-looking, versatile, and really nutritious! There are different varieties, too, so check them out.

You can sprout it, too, but I have never tried it.

I love lentils, too. We have a really cool market down the street and they have a bazillion different kinds of lentils. Prepare those and add them to the quinoa!

You can wrap the mixtures up in lettuce leaves, tortillas, or pita.

Last night, I grilled some chicken (my husband likes it with a slice of avocado topped with a slice of Swiss cheese melted on top during the last couple of minutes of grilling). What I usually do the day after (what I'm doing tonight), since we have leftover rice,too, is chop up the chicken and mix it up with some frozen corn kernels, refried beans, the rest of the rice, some salsa, and wrap the mixture in a tortilla and nuke it for a minute. Jason likes grated cheddar cheese in his, and extra salsa, of course. My kids love it, too.

I make giant batches of chili con carne - I use ground turkey instead of ground beef - and freeze it in portions. Same with pasta sauce (made with ground turkey).

Holy Long Post, Batman! I may have gotten carried away...

I hope this helps! Let me know if you need some clarification.

ciao!

starbucks said,

March 18, 2010 11:14 AM

Phillie, those cute pink weights I just had to buy and then walk home with have not jumped out of the box on their own, I've been thinking if they only had a name! What would you think of a spinoff of your "Flapdoodles", they could be "Wadoodles"! We would need to get Jillie's approval because we'd need a selection of them for everyone in our Z.......vehicle. What are we calling our March vehicle? See you tonight. ~Ginny

starbucks said,

March 18, 2010 11:07 AM

Babs I agree, and why is it that clear nailpolish doesn't spill!!! I too can relate to If hunger isn't the problem...saying, I carry that with me actually, it helps me so much to keep little reminders in my purse to get me through those tough moments. I'm tryiing to break the habit of reaching for food when it's not hunger related! ~Ginny

starbucks said,

March 18, 2010 10:55 AM

Hi Kim, I just love that tracking bracelet for points, I've used it for a few days now and it's working! I have been ok with writing down part of the day, or writing down ahead, but haven't been consistent. This is fun, and I've checked with Phyllis and if it's OK with you, those round beads are DIAMONDS! Can't wait for the meeting tonight. ~Ginny

maggiebaby said,

March 18, 2010 10:26 AM

Babs, can you please go ahead and give those suggestions, especially for the quinoa? Thanks,

Margaret:)

Babs said,

March 18, 2010 10:21 AM

Greetings from the Desert Southwest!

I nearly lost it when I read your post, Ginny! "Why, oh why couldn't this happen whilst using CLEAR nail polish?" is a question I've asked myself many a time. ;)

Jo, when you say Vegetarian, do you mean Zero Meat Period or just no red meat? We're big Bean Eaters, and I pretty much substitute lean ground turkey for anything that calls for ground beef. Perhaps that will change things up for you? Also, I like to use quinoa or pearl barley rather than brown rice sometimes. Quinoa is fun, and it is also a complete protein, I believe (you'll have to fact-check me on that). I've got some suggestions if you're interested! My husband and I survived on beans and grains for about 18 months while paying off our debt/college loans, so I got really creative!

I've got April 20 marked on my calendar, Tammy B.

ciao for now...

mother mary said,

March 18, 2010 9:25 AM

Jailes, I read your comment about drinking OJ when your sick and worrying that OJ isn't good for calorie counters. There is a Light Orange Juice in the grocery stores. For a 8 oz glass it has 50 cal and 1 square. Enjoy.

BMIL02 said,

March 18, 2010 8:26 AM

If I can ask can you please pray for me April 20, 2010? I'm taking the first of three of my tests to get registered as a respiratory therapist. I'm excited but nervous.

Thanks and will be praying for all of you today! Hope everybody has a wonderful day!

xoxo
Tammy B.

Marycheebs said,

March 18, 2010 7:00 AM

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”- Romans 15:13

Thinking and praying for all of you today!

Thanks Kim!
Mary

NightowlTJRD said,

March 18, 2010 1:13 AM

I can't believe I just lost what I was writing!!! Okay,I'll try again, but I'll make it shorter. I made your meatloaf recipe Kim, and I wasn't sure I would like it but I figured I would give it a try, like all of the other recipes I have made and really liked,and I did like it. I also have an addiction to those brownies, which are 176 calories apiece if you make 12 servings. There are also alot of good recipes on DoctorOz.com the brownie recipes are on there too. Okay time to watch "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" I loved that show when it was on and now there is a channel that has two episodes a night. Take care all!! Babs I am putting that saying on the fridge, I love it!!
T T F N!!
Tammy (Nightowl)

NightowlTJRD said,

March 18, 2010 12:42 AM

Top o' the mornin' to you all,
I hope you all had a nice day. What a beautiful day it was!! Okay Jo, I'm going to explain why I really am a Nightowl! I have always stayed up late, even when I was a kid. Then I would take overnight jobs when I got older. But since my knee injury I can only sleep for an hour or two at a time before I am woken up by the pain. Sometimes the drugs kick in for a while and I will sleep at the most for three hours. So that is why I'm awake at all hours of the night and I don't talk about exercising. I do take Max for a walk, but I pay for it. Like today, but it was worth it!! It was so beautiful out!!Okay cut....

janechia said,

March 17, 2010 9:52 PM

TRUBRIT: Yes, I thought the ingredients in that Chop Suey sounded weird too but it was wonderful! Not sure about using tofu...I've never had it before.

Kim: Thanks for the tip on reading the bible online. I'm going to check that out.

See you all Thursday!

Hugs,

Jane

starbucks said,

March 17, 2010 7:55 PM

Hi Kathleen, you and your family have a double blessing! I'll be anxiously waiting to hear about your holding those little grandbabies bundles of joy. So glad to hear your son & daughter-in-law are healthy & happy. Love, Ginny

starbucks said,

March 17, 2010 7:49 PM

Phillie I just emailed you...well after coming home from work & having a glass of Baileys, we are all a little Irish tonight, is that right Miss O'Phillie and Miss O'Jillie, we walked over to the North End for pizza and "greens". Then I had a bright idea when I got home, adding a coat of polish to my fading pedicure. Now my mother, bless her heart, always used a nutcracker to open difficult bottles. This I found out is not a good idea for nail polish bottles containing the red tones. Before I knew it the neck of the bottle broke and polish dripped all over my hands & the sink. It is a good thing I hardly have a drink, and for now when I do, I'll be sitting in a chair with my shoes on!
Love, Ginny

Phyllis M1 said,

March 17, 2010 6:32 PM

Dearest O'Jillie. I forgot my green tea. O'Phillie

Kath, you are going to be best grandmother. I can just
tell. I know it was so hard to leave that hospital. I am
so happy for your. You can "hear" in your words your great joy! And you are just so sweet. Your wordws to our
Babs and our Kara-Lee were just like you. Love, Phyllis

My sweet girl, Kara-Lee, I have missed you and am so glad
you are doing so well. You know, I always knew Lauren was
extra special, and I knew how long you and Darrin had been
married. I didn't even think of all that pain for you waiting for that wonderful day when Lauren was born and then again for when little Ryleigh came along. You are so blessed. Love, Phyllis

jailes said,

March 17, 2010 6:06 PM

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL THE KIMMIES!!! Hope everyone is enjoying lots of greens --- green beans, green salad, green peppers, green celery, green cucmbers, green brocolli, green tea --- all the good fresh green things that are good, good for you!!!

***Irish Blessing***

May you always walk in sunshine,
May you never want for more,
May Irish angels rest their wings, right beside your door.

O'Jill

Kathleen Brady said,

March 17, 2010 5:37 PM

Happy St. Patty's Day!
We just got back from meeting our newest members of the family. What an experience! They are in NICU so I haven't held or sniffed them yet :) but I have that to look forward to. They are only 3#7oz and 4#7oz respectively. Little boy and little girl. It was hard to leave. Mother and Dad are doing well, too. Kara Lee, my son and his wife have been through a similar trial as you and your husband, so this has been such a blessing, and one we didn't expect. I'm so happy for you and husband!

I did not binge over the past 2 days but I have to tell you that I thought about food all the time! I drooled over restaurants we passed on the interstate, and I wanted to push my food preferences onto everyone yesterday! Interesting. For the first time I slowed down enough to recognize how preoccupied I was. I actually prayed for strength and remembered your quote, Kim. So, I did what I hoped to do, got through a trip without losing it. Whew! One down..........

Babs, I am so sorry about your loss. I regret that my joy triggered your sad memory. I would imagine that you will forever feel a sting when your bittersweet memories return. Grief is such hard work. I am glad you felt free to write about this on our blog.

211jkw said,

March 17, 2010 5:16 PM

Kim,
Thanks for your blog today. God has given us all a special blessing in allowing your life to touch ours. You are a blessing Kim Bensen!!!

Jan

TruBrit said,

March 17, 2010 3:59 PM

Does anyone know how many calories are in Kim's black bean brownies? I Googled the recipe but it didn't give the serving size or calories.

Thanks, Jo.

Phyllis M1 said,

March 17, 2010 11:23 AM

Hey Lil Jannie, really proud of you doing that tape.I've had three good days. Big St. Patty's Day hug to you.XO
Phillie

To all my beloved Kimmie friends. You all mean so much;
HAPPY, HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY. Love and Hugs!!!

BMIL02 said,

March 17, 2010 10:24 AM

Hope everybody is wearing "GREEN" today. i went to the grocery store and bought some healthy foods so that we can FINALLY eat healthy at home and work. hope everybody has been having a wonderful week. my prayers go out to everybody. thanks Kim for the verses out of the Bible. I'm off work today...YIPEE!

xoxox
Tammy

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