DIETING THROUGH THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE

When I started my “bajillionth” and last diet in 2001, I didn’t tell anyone except my girlfriend Cathy, my husband Mark, and my children that I was starting something new. I had started so many times before and stopped that I just didn’t want anyone knowing right away. Besides, if I really did stick with it, it would be fun to surprise everyone, especially my parents who were so concerned for my health.

But surprising my parents was not to be. Just three days after joining Weight Watchers® for the last time, my wonderful, beloved father had a heart attack and died the next day. He never knew his prayers for his little girl had finally been answered.

In the midst of deep grief, and without much practice in counting POINTS® or planning my days—and surrounded by an overwhelming quantity of catered food and other people’s cooking—I did my best to stay with it. I don’t know why. I was so full of grief, I didn’t care very much at that point, and no one even knew I was dieting.

I kept telling myself that it would have been so easy to put it off for another time. No one would blame me. With all the stress and grief, who would expect me to keep dieting? The timing just wasn’t right, right? But something inside me had changed. I was ready to try again for the first time in ages, and I quietly stuck with it.

In the days that followed, we traveled to Massachusetts, Maine, and back home to Connecticut to get plans and affairs in order. We drove for hours. We ate out. Friends brought meals. A week later, on the morning of Daddy’s memorial service, with a house full of extended family and catered food, I crept down the stairs. It was very early in the morning and I was planning on eating whatever I could that was on the table. I was tired of trying to figure out POINTS® and I missed my dad. Who could blame me for giving up after all this? I was ready for a serious binge.

I walked toward the table, plate in hand. The first dish I reached for was an apple crisp, nestled in among all the other goodies. There was a note on top: “Low-Fat Apple Crisp: only two points per cup.”

I don’t even know how it got there or where it came from, but it was all I needed to stick with it. I had two cups of Apple Crisp with my coffee and I was ready to face the day.

I Corinthians 10:13 says, “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape that you can bear up under it.” That apple crisp was my “way of escape,” and it was exactly what I needed at that moment.

Two weeks later I returned to Weight Watchers®—and I’d lost more than seven pounds. That was just the beginning.

Through it all, I found something I never expected. Sticking with my diet was one of the things that brought me peace and joy during those grief-filled months following daddy’s death. Many of you are faced with difficult, challenging, stress-filled circumstances and may be afraid that because of them it isn’t the right time for you to work on the weight you want to lose. Well, it may not be. BUT you may find an inner happiness you didn’t expect to find that comes from knowing that you’re doing something for yourself that you want and need to do. You know that feeling, when you lay your head on your pillow at night with a smile because you “did it” one more day.

Let the success of your diet give you some small measure of joy and strength when you face tough times, instead of letting the difficult circumstances pull you away from your diet.

I often wonder—if I had given up right after daddy died, would I have ever gone back? Where would I be now?

Comments

Babs said,

March 17, 2010 9:50 AM

Good morning, all, and thanks for the prayers and support. I was truly blessed last night and had the good sense to recognize it!

Aldon, my Little Guy, is getting the last of his teeth and woke up around midnight (most unusual). I put some music on for him (it happened to be Praise Baby - the one that was given to Maggie when she was in the hospital) and rocked him back to sleep. As I listened to the words of Here In This Place, I was reminded to "lay my burdens down", and my 21 month-old, 22 lb, soft, sweet-smelling (Kathleen, you are going to LOVE the journey you've just begun!!!!) child embodied my Sweet Maggie and it was as if she was telling me "I'm okay, Mommy, and I will see you again someday." And I didn't weep - I just reveled in it.

So thank you all again for all the encouragement! Prayers get answered; occasionally in the affirmative!

I re-read some of the pages of your book, Kim, and kept bumping up against Proverbs 27:17. I am thankful for all of you and that we have a place to come to to both give and receive encouragement.

Onward through another day... and I'm going to keep reminding myself that IF IT ISN'T HUNGER, FOOD WON'T FIX IT.

TruBrit said,

March 17, 2010 7:55 AM

Tammy,
do you ever sleep? What are you doing up so late every night?

I know what you mean about the candy bars. I am a chocoholic. I'm very proud of myself for avoiding the Easter candy aisles. I love Cadbury's mini eggs and usually buy a few bags before the season is over. I'm thinking of asking my daughter in law to buy me a couple of the little bags for Easter. That way I can't lose control and eat a lb of them. Then hopefully they will be out of the stores until next season.

You will notice Max's ears didn't perk up today. I got through 2 posts without losing them yay!!!

TruBrit said,

March 17, 2010 7:47 AM

Happy St. Pat's day everyone!

Kim, I love your post today. I have a Bible that is split into 365 days. It takes about 15mins. a day and starts with Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. That was the only way I could see reading the whole Bible, it was always so intimidating. But since buying it many years ago I have read it a few times.

I'm going to check out the site that you mentioned, thank you.

Phyllis, I enjoy reading your posts too.

Jo.

maggiebaby said,

March 17, 2010 7:34 AM

Kim, I've never been able to get it quite finished either. My mom did that last year, and is doing it again this year, and is well on track:)

Thanks for the lovely blessing from the Word that you gave us this morning. Read it for yourself and be blessed.

Happy St Patrick's Day everybody from your English/Irish/Dutch/German who knows what else girl:)

Maggie:)

kim said,

March 17, 2010 5:06 AM

Hi guys,

I really shouldn't be in here as it's eNews day (it'll be late, sorry!) but I just had to post all my friends. I love reading your stories...the losses and great fun of grandbabies! Wow Kathleen! ...and the struggles and hardships, too. We've become a team and yet, not a clicque – how'd THAT happen? I don't know, but I'm so grateful for each of you. It's great when someone new comes in and shares their story and it's always wonderful to hear from the 'old timers'. Did you know we're coming up on our one year anniversary?

But right now I think of Babs and Julie and dear DJ/Donna and others who are going through hard times. We're here for you guys. I'm praying and I know so many others are as well.

I've always tried reading the Bible through in a year and never totally succeeded. I go on to other books and topics, etc. But this year I've been doing it on www.biblegateway.com. It's almost 1/4 of the way through the year and I'm loving it! It seems easier to pop it up on my computer and the large print and lighted screen help these old eyes in the early morning. It seems as though there's LESS reading on the screen, even though there's not! And you can look up verses by keyword or topic and the reading plans are there for any translation as well.

So I'm going through some of the drier passages right now, but found this little blessing that I wanted to give to each of you from Numbers 6.

24 " ' "The LORD bless you
and keep you;

25 the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;

26 the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace." '

A special blessing for all my Kimmies. Have an awesome day.

211jkw said,

March 17, 2010 4:43 AM

Top of the Morning to Ya!

The weather in finally turning out nice. It was fially in the 60's yesterday.

I'm making the Boiled Dinner recipe of Kim's today. It is already in the crock pot. I cut the veggies up last night so it was easy to put the rest together before I go to work.

Hey Phillie...I did my Leslie tape last night. That's two days in a row. Thanks for my new name...Jannie! I love it.

Hope everyone has a great OP day.

Happy St. Patricks's Day

Jannie

NightowlTJRD said,

March 17, 2010 3:19 AM

My heart really goes out to you Bama Girl. If there is ever a time you really need to talk (or type) because of stress at work I would be happy to "listen". Don't ever apologize for pouring out your heart, we all do it at one time or another!! And that goes for you too Kara Lee. I would never have believed you started out at 311 (I was very close to that too)by looking at your beautiful picture!! I hope I can do as well as you have!!! All of you women are so amazing!! When I look at the amount of weight you all have lost it is so inspiring!!
Hey Jo, so that's why Max tilted his head looking like he was listening so intently!! I love talking to Max because he looks like he actually understands what I am saying to him!! It is so frustrating when I type and I don't know when or if I will lose what I am saying!!
Kathleen CONGRATULATIONS GRANDMA!!!!! You are so lucky!! You are twice blessed!! My daughter is way too young to have a baby now, but I cannot wait to have a grandchild!!Take a really big sniff for me, babies smell so good!! As long as their diapers are dry. You must be so thrilled!!! Okay, it's 4am so I guess I should try to get some sleep. Sweet Dreams All!
T T F N!!
Tammy (Nightowl)

NightowlTJRD said,

March 17, 2010 2:52 AM

It really amazes me what all of us has been through and we still function, some days are better than others, but we still try to put a smile on our faces and we are here to comfort one another. When I was a chubby kid the thing I looked forward to the most was when I had enough money to go to the candy store and buy lots of candy bars and the most I could get for what I had. My childhood sucked!!! But I'm putting that behind me and I do my best not to find comfort in candy and carbs!!
Jill I love that saying!! I'm going to put that on my fridge!! Wow, you had quite the week, here's wishing you don't have another!! So many people have told me I should be a Rockette! With my short stubby legs, and my nice round stomach,oh yeah!! I think I could get my leg up once or twice, if I tried really hard!

laurensmyprincess said,

March 16, 2010 10:19 PM

Angeleyes ~ Congrats on your loss!!!

God Bless,

Kara-Lee

Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs

laurensmyprincess said,

March 16, 2010 10:14 PM

Babs ~ I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain. I only know what it's like to try for a baby and not get one. Darrin and I tried 9 years with fertility before I had my Lauren Elizabeth...my miracle girl and then 5 1/2 years later I was blessed with Ryleigh Michelle, the biggest surprise of my life. I feel blessed have them in my life...they make me a better person.

God Bless,

Kara-Lee

Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs

laurensmyprincess said,

March 16, 2010 10:08 PM

Kathleen ~ Congrats on becoming a Grandma twice over...you must be so excited. Is it a girl and a boy...Tristan can be either...kind of like my Ryleigh. :o) Have a safe trip.

God Bless,

Kara-Lee

Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs

laurensmyprincess said,

March 16, 2010 10:06 PM

Phyllis ~ How are you doing? I haven't heard from you...wanted to make sure that your doing good.

God Bless,

Kara-Lee

Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs

laurensmyprincess said,

March 16, 2010 10:04 PM

Sue ~ Thanks so much for the Vitatop Coupon...just placed an order...for 3x $29.99...love those Vitatops :o)

God Bless,

Kara-Lee

Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs

Phyllis M1 said,

March 16, 2010 6:38 PM

Sue, thanks for that vitatops info, sweet girl. XOxo

Jo, I love what you write. You are the best!!!xoxo

Mags, I just talked to you five mins. ago. You sounded wonderful. Loves...

Phyllis M1 said,

March 16, 2010 6:34 PM

Dearest Babs, One would never know the pain you've
been through; you are always encouraging all of us. I
am so glad you shared with us and you've learned that we
will always be here for you. You mean so much to us. I
love the beautiful name of your precious baby girl. She
will always be with you. Love you, sweet girl. Phyllis

Babs, in my darkest times, I have loved this scripture.

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear,
but of power and love and a strong mind."

Phyllis M1 said,

March 16, 2010 6:28 PM

And Miss Grandma Kathleen, what are Tristin and Kaitlin
going to call you? Girl you are in for so much baby
loving. They smell so good and are so pliable in your
arms. I have to run to catch Si, almost 4; and Joci was here over the weekend after the disney cruise (she is 1)
with her big sister Madelyn (8); I don't even have any babies anymore. Joci is running around practically.
Dear girl, I am so thankful for your, so thrilled! Love Phillie

Phyllis M1 said,

March 16, 2010 6:24 PM

Yes, Jillsie, I would say we are dead ringers for those
Rockettes! Maybe this Christmas we will go ahead and design some short Mrs. Santa outfits. I know Gin-Lin will be up for it!

TruBrit said,

March 16, 2010 4:51 PM

Angeleyes, so what if it was only water, it's 9lbs GONE!!!
And look how much easier it is for you to breath. Keep doing what you are doing and stay positive.

Jane, that is the weirdest Chop Suey recipe. It is the one in Kim's book right? I wonder how it will taste if I substitute the ground turkey with Tofu, mmm, I will let you know.

TruBrit said,

March 16, 2010 3:44 PM

TruBrit

Babs, I admire your courage. You sound like a wonderful person and Mom.

Go to Google and type arksoaper.wordpress.com/our-story. When the next screen pops up click on the second site Scripture to comfort.

I hope this brings you some comfort.

Jo.

Babs said,

March 16, 2010 3:11 PM

Thanks, Sisters. :)

JER 29:11 is posted on my fridge - it's been the verse I've gone to since I came to Christ so many years ago, and I still find immeasurable encouragement in it. I'm off to search for a Footprints that I can print out now...

...And then to take the next step and pick up my Bible instead of picking up graham crackers (or any number of things). I know why it's so difficult to do: I was trained from a very young age, like most of you (probably) that food helps with the pain. Where's the logic in that? It always ends up causing me more, albeit different, pain. It's still a challenge to form a new habit to replace the old one, even though the old one doesn't work for me.

And then onto the next step: to instill in my kids better habits than the ones I was brought up with, and to encourage them and nurture them in such a way that they will make better choices than I did.

BTW, I lost 48 lbs over three years ago, and I'm struggling to get back to my goal range - I've got about 8 lbs to go. I weighed in on Saturday and logged it in my account, and I'll continue to do so as well as post my results Here.

Thanks again for your well-wishes and compassion.

xo

maggiebaby said,

March 16, 2010 2:50 PM

Ginny, I like Footprints too. It's one of my favorites, as well as Derek's.

Margaret:)

starbucks said,

March 16, 2010 2:20 PM

Dearest Babs I just started tearing up reading your story, words cannot express what I'm feeling for you and your family. My favoite comfort is Footprints in the Sand...Lord when I needed you most, why did you leave my side? The Lord answered:"My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial. When you see only one set of footprints in the sand, I was carring you." Sending you hugs Babs. ~Ginny

maggiebaby said,

March 16, 2010 1:12 PM

Babs, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't imagine how hard that must have been, how hard it is still, for you. A verse that has always been a comfort to me, in fact it is the signature line on my emails here at work is Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That's the NIV verse. God bless you and your family.

Margaret:)

Babs said,

March 16, 2010 12:57 PM

Congratulations Kathleen! Holy Smokes - twins! And I thought it was tough with two one year and nine days apart.

I feel a little hesitant to post this in light of the wonderful news in the above post. It isn't my intention to be a bummer. I'm really focused on the main theme of this blog today...

That said, I'm STILL "dieting through the hardships of life", and here I am three years after the death of my precious Magda Hope. She's still on my mind every day, and when I look at her sister and the brother she never knew, I find myself wondering what she would be like now. This is a recent development as I never used to allow myself to imagine her past her 22 months. I know that God, in His infinite wisdom, did not intend for her to be here past that time - that it was all part of His plan - and indulging myself in that What Might Have Been is a trigger for me to soothe myself with food. I need to go back and re-read this (the one posted at the intro to this blog) section of the book. I find myself wishing that a low-points apple crisp would just appear in my kitchen and remind me of that which I need reminding.

I feel like I need to go back to scripture, too. David's experience in 2 Samuel 12:16 has been a comfort to me in the past. If any of you has any other suggestions, I'm all ears.

Just so you all know: My life isn't consumed by sadness... I find so much hope and promise in my kids, and the peace that my husband and I have found in the Lord is the driving factor behind it all.

Sue Bea said,

March 16, 2010 12:32 PM

Hey Vita Tops are on sale here is the link 22 for 29.99 free shipping yes I said FREE SHIPPING.
Enjoy....
http://www.vitalicious.com/hgmar10.html?utm_source=HG&utm_medium=mar10&utm_campaign=HGMar10_link6

angeleyes said,

March 16, 2010 12:26 PM

thank you all for your wooohoooos *gg*...it feels good :). But I really have to remind myself that I have to eat the right things this week too! It wasn´t easy this day because I made a noodle salad for all of my colleques and it wasn´t low fat! I have to stay on my "losing weight focus". I have to set a goal for this month...we have 2 weeks to go...so I will have lost 15 pounds by the end of this month.

I surely lost only water...I have to lose around 200 pounds...so it isn´t really much what I lost...although...for me its SO good. I really feel a difference while I´m simply going along a way. It´s easier to breath. YAY! Not super easy, but not so hard as it was the last time. And I can´t tell how much that means to me. It´s so good!

Kathleen Brady said,

March 16, 2010 10:22 AM

Good Morning All. Last night I became a grandma for the first time.....to twins! Kaitlyn and Tristan were born at 10pm. We are heading to Daytona in just a bit. I'll be back home tomorrow, and will check back in then. I'm in a good place, with my program, so not to worry. I have my tracking stuff and will get through the next 24 hours without blowing it! And yes, I know what that means to me......eating everything in sight!

See you all tomorrow.

maggiebaby said,

March 16, 2010 8:28 AM

Hi, everybody. I didn't have time to report in yesterday. I was up about 1.4--but I knew I would be when I actually went back to eating, after eating only 1 or 2 meals daily for 3 or 4 days in the moving process. But, I will get it back off--I have to--this is not a healthy place for me to be.

The renters are in the old house now! YAY!!!!!!!!! Now we just have to get things done in the new, completely unboxed, etc.:)

Great job all of you with your losses and sticking to your plans! It encourages me more than I can tell you.Margaret:)

janechia said,

March 15, 2010 9:01 PM

Phyllis: You will love that recipe...give it a try! I swear by Kim's recipes. I do my best on program when I use Kim's site to it's fullest; blogs, recipes, K-tools, and I also re-read her book ALOT.

Hugs,

Jane

jailes said,

March 15, 2010 8:36 PM

Phillie -- a Zeppette is one who is riding on the goal blimp aka the Zippy Zeppelin --- get it? on the Zeppelin we have Zeppettes --- just like on the Wagon we had Wagoneers - the Sleigh we had Sleighettes, etc. --- I think it probably started b/c we look so much like those famous Rockettes - don't you think???? -- Yea, we're "cute" like that!!!

Jill

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