When I started my “bajillionth” and last diet in 2001, I didn’t tell anyone except my girlfriend Cathy, my husband Mark, and my children that I was starting something new. I had started so many times before and stopped that I just didn’t want anyone knowing right away. Besides, if I really did stick with it, it would be fun to surprise everyone, especially my parents who were so concerned for my health.
But surprising my parents was not to be. Just three days after joining Weight Watchers® for the last time, my wonderful, beloved father had a heart attack and died the next day. He never knew his prayers for his little girl had finally been answered.
In the midst of deep grief, and without much practice in counting POINTS® or planning my days—and surrounded by an overwhelming quantity of catered food and other people’s cooking—I did my best to stay with it. I don’t know why. I was so full of grief, I didn’t care very much at that point, and no one even knew I was dieting.
I kept telling myself that it would have been so easy to put it off for another time. No one would blame me. With all the stress and grief, who would expect me to keep dieting? The timing just wasn’t right, right? But something inside me had changed. I was ready to try again for the first time in ages, and I quietly stuck with it.
In the days that followed, we traveled to Massachusetts, Maine, and back home to Connecticut to get plans and affairs in order. We drove for hours. We ate out. Friends brought meals. A week later, on the morning of Daddy’s memorial service, with a house full of extended family and catered food, I crept down the stairs. It was very early in the morning and I was planning on eating whatever I could that was on the table. I was tired of trying to figure out POINTS® and I missed my dad. Who could blame me for giving up after all this? I was ready for a serious binge.
I walked toward the table, plate in hand. The first dish I reached for was an apple crisp, nestled in among all the other goodies. There was a note on top: “Low-Fat Apple Crisp: only two points per cup.”
I don’t even know how it got there or where it came from, but it was all I needed to stick with it. I had two cups of Apple Crisp with my coffee and I was ready to face the day.
I Corinthians 10:13 says, “God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape that you can bear up under it.” That apple crisp was my “way of escape,” and it was exactly what I needed at that moment.
Two weeks later I returned to Weight Watchers®—and I’d lost more than seven pounds. That was just the beginning.
Through it all, I found something I never expected. Sticking with my diet was one of the things that brought me peace and joy during those grief-filled months following daddy’s death. Many of you are faced with difficult, challenging, stress-filled circumstances and may be afraid that because of them it isn’t the right time for you to work on the weight you want to lose. Well, it may not be. BUT you may find an inner happiness you didn’t expect to find that comes from knowing that you’re doing something for yourself that you want and need to do. You know that feeling, when you lay your head on your pillow at night with a smile because you “did it” one more day.
Let the success of your diet give you some small measure of joy and strength when you face tough times, instead of letting the difficult circumstances pull you away from your diet.
I often wonder—if I had given up right after daddy died, would I have ever gone back? Where would I be now?
Comments
Marycheebs said,
March 12, 2010 10:00 PM
Ginny that was Hilarious! I can remember thinking the same thing while using tomato juice cans as weights a while back. I ended up running to Wally World to pick some hand weights up for fear of clunking myself in the head...Have fun walking with your weights, I'll have to try that sometime...
Phyllis, keep walking on that treadmill girl!!! Your looking good!!!
Have a good weekend everyone!!!!
Mary
Phyllis M1 said,
March 12, 2010 5:30 PM
Gin-Lin, I can't stop laughing. yes that chicken broth
could have made everything smell like Thanksgiving stuffing. Actually that could work!!! Glad you got your six lb. weights and in your honor I am lifting mine tonight. Now I have those little round balls that are soft and weigh about five lbs. I can't do my Leslie Sansome, this little Bichon of Matt and Jodi's keeps barking at me. His mother always goes to the gym! O well, I'll put the baby gate up and go upstairs and do my treadmill! Where there's a will.... you know. Gin, you don't need to do them again tonight. that l5 minute walk home should be enough. Now we ARE twins, Leslie's WATP and weights. Only one of us is ten years older!!! LOVE
AND HUGS.
starbucks said,
March 12, 2010 4:36 PM
The other night I bought some hand weights after work totaling 6 pounds so I could tell our Phyllis I was adding weights to my program. Previously I had asked Mike if he knew where our weights were, of course he didn't and suggested I use tomato paste cans, wouldn't you know I buy the tiny size! As I pulled several items out of my cabinet I selected two boxes of chicken broth at 32oz each. I started laughing during my little routine because of the swishing noise I was hearing everytime I lifted my arms, I could imagine the boxes springing a leak and having broth all over the place! Anyway, it took me about 15 minutes to walk home lugging those weights and I could not believe how heavy they were! I'm going to focus on a setting my goal in 6 pound segments, and I'm saving the chicken broth for cooking! Love to everyone! Ginny
Donna Lawhorn said,
March 12, 2010 3:40 PM
Donna from VA
Hey Phyllis
Awe you are so sweet and encouraging to me and i really miss talking to you too. It really helps when there are others that are going through or have been through the stages in trying to keep healthy and eating right for life.
Kara-lee You are in my thought during these surgeries and so happy you are doing well, keep up the good work. :)
Everyone please have a safe a great weekend.
laurensmyprincess said,
March 12, 2010 3:25 PM
Good Afternoon Everyone,
I hope everyone is having a great OP day.
Last nights training session went great...I even managed to make it on the bike for 15 minutes...lvl 10...doing hills...I use to do it for an hour. I'm hoping to go this evening and add another 5 minutes to my time and ride 20 minutes. I have my next training session with Kristen Sunday morning. :o) I went last night and decided to buy some equipment for the house...I have hand weights already, but I bought a weighted 5lb ball, a balance disk, and yoga mat. It's been hard to exercise at home because Ryleigh doesn't like to let it happen without interference...hehe Kristen and I will be focusing on my core/abs over the next 11 weeks before my next surgery, since that will be the next area they will be operating on.
Darrin and I have a date night planned tomorrow. We are going to go see Alice in Wonderland and have dinner, so I switched my high point day to be tomorrow instead of today. I also have a manicure planned for tomorrow am. Yeah!
Today I've been doing more menu planning. I have all my dinner meals in my tracker for the next month...but I'm working on doing my breakfast, snacks and lunch meals for the next week. I'm planning on sticking with the Wendie/Maggie for awhile longer...I feel like it's less restrictive and I need that right now...knowing I have days when I can plan ahead to use WP...having only 19pts can get very boring sometimes...hehe
Congrats to all our losers this week.
Good luck to everyone weighing in today.
God Bless,
Kara-Lee
Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs
Phyllis M1 said,
March 12, 2010 3:00 PM
Tam, I like this plan you have made. It's a winner! No,
you don't need to leave your sons. Mine all three came
back after college, or during to their home for a little
while and I am glad. They are wonderful productive people
and that was my greatest wish. Your's will be, too. XOXO
BMIL02 said,
March 12, 2010 12:49 PM
Thanks Phyllis! Now Mike is NOT a gator fan. I'm just NOT up to moving at least not far from where we are now. I'm just not too crazy about leaving our sons (soon to be 20 & 25) living in this place because it is okay for right now but not the best. They can't afford to move out on their own. also Mike wants to go back to FCCJ to finish his 2 year degree this fall. I'm just gong to concentrate on passing my RRT and starting classes April 26th and leave the rest in God's hands. He'll know where I'm suppose to go and where I'm suppose to work. I'm going to another dr. on Monday...I really need to find a GOOD dr.
xoxox
Tammy
Phyllis M1 said,
March 12, 2010 9:13 AM
Tammy, I do have HBP, and have learned a lot about it since. I have to take medication, which I have been on for at least five years. I am a lot older, but your numbers
l40/80, used to be just over the acceptable range of l39/80; the preferred numbers being l20/80. Now they seem to want it lower than that. I have noticed some old fashioned docs (I've had many dr. clients) seem to go with the old numbers. If you feel your cheeks getting hot or a bad headache, you could be spiking blood pressure. I think it is all the stress you are under. The numbers
you mention actually are acceptable for me with my meds.
I just wish we could figure a way to relieve some of that
stress. I think getting your designation and taking the
job in Gainesville could be the prize winner! You'd be a
real Gator. Yikes, hope you are not a Seminole! xo
MeganDC (not verified) said,
March 12, 2010 8:45 AM
Hi Kim-
I read your book last year and I, too, am starting Weight Watchers for the bajillionth time. Reading this reminded me that one of these times, I will put it all together to make it last for good. I just lost five pounds and am in the honeymoon pahse right now. I think this time I will add meetings (I do it online) so I appreciate your tips and people like you who have made the changes for good are my role models. Thank you so much for sharing! MeganDC
Kathleen Brady said,
March 12, 2010 8:33 AM
Good Morning All! Well, I completely forgot to join the meeting last night! Whaaaaaaa
I had it on my calendar and everything. I'll watch it in "reruns".
Wow this blog is wonderful and encouraging! The biggest thing that I am taking from it is that there never will be a perfect time to lose weight because life is imperfectly perfect. Yup. That's a biggie for me. Do you think it has something to do with a tendency to be a perfectionist? I think so! So, loosening up the reins is a new and powerful tack to take.
I did get to the gym yesterday and worked out 2 hours. I'm bumping up the cardio per my trainer's recommendation. That's to boost weight loss. Also, ate a good OP day. Today I have planned fish filets, sweet potatoes and salad for dinner. Yum. Still have Dr. Oz brownies in fridge so I'll zap one and add 1/2 C no sugar added ice cream (thank you blue bell!) to it. That's an additional yum. High on the satisfaction list!
Margaret, moving is so stressful! I have moved more times than I dare add up. I'm with you in spirit, Margaret. Hang in there, and stay connected through this stressful time.
Phyllis, enjoy the eggrolls! They are a new favorite here.
Kara-Lee, I'm sorry to hear about the need for 2 surgeries. That's a twist in your plans I'm sure. Sounds like your doctor has your best interests in mind. Hope it's not an insurmountable problem for you and your husband.
Love to you all. Kathleen
Lori L (not verified) said,
March 12, 2010 6:05 AM
I relate to the article because although I knew my dad's death was coming since he was in the very last stage of alzheimers, I still had doubts about me joing WW the Saturday after we buried my father. I had to ask myself if I should wait or just go ahead and do it. This was the week before Halloween last year, right before the holiday season for us eaters out there. I decided to take the plunge and now I can say I have lost 25lbs so far. You are right about feeling good about doing something for yourself in the midst of stress and heartach. I used that to keep me going. I know my dad would have been proud if he was still here and not sick. But I know he knows how I am doing anyway. Just because people are gone from earth doesn't mean they have to be disconnected from their love ones. I believe if you are someone who has put yourselves last, a time of loss is an excellent time to do something for yourselves. Just losing 10% of your body weight is a great start.
BMIL02 said,
March 12, 2010 12:33 AM
Happy EARLY TGIF! i need some input...what does anybody know about blood pressure? what causes high blood pressure and what can you do about it? mine is normally NORMAL but yesterday it was alittle on the high side like about 140/80. i'm so mad that the dr. didn't say or do anything about it...especially when it usually runs about 120/70 or lower.
hope everybody has a wonderful weekend! i have to work like always...hey i'm still studying to take my RRT and can't wait to start my classes in a few weeks.
xoxo
Tammy
janechia said,
March 11, 2010 9:19 PM
MaryCheebs: I love the name Phyllis gave you...MaryAngel! How appropriate!
So sorry you were in that terrible wreck and lost your father at the same time. What a strong woman you truly are!
I will pray for your 100% week. Just remember, start with ONE DAY...tomorrow.
Let's pledge to each other that we will both successfully have a 100% day tomorrow! We can do this!!
P.S. Looked for you on FB, when I searched your name, nothing came up??
Phyllis M1 said,
March 11, 2010 8:45 PM
Sandi, we missed you tonight. Hope you are okay. Love
Phyllis
Phyllis M1 said,
March 11, 2010 8:43 PM
Magsie, I can hear the tiredness in your blog. I know
you very well and know that you want everything to be
just right. I would too, and me in the business business for 30+ years. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard my clients buying and selling sound exactly like this. You are such a wonderful person. I wouldn't make it
through a lot of days without you. Guys we have been e-mail partners for many months and a day doesn't go by that
she doesn't send me something spiritually uplifting. I
just wanted to brag a moment on you. Love you Blogdaughter.
Phyllis M1 said,
March 11, 2010 8:34 PM
Dear Kath, thank you so much for that recipe. It sounds
so delish!!! I am making those this weekend and just announced as much to Charles (who is watching the SEC
basketball conference and me of course, too). I read it
out to him and he can't wait. thanks,love. Big Hug and
love you.
Phyllis M1 said,
March 11, 2010 8:32 PM
Dear Donna-Sue, don't we just have periods of time when
we just cannot get ourselves back right and it seems as
tho we never will? I get like that so much. you are not by yourself, girl. You have the most amazing sweet spirit
and kind heart. I have missed you, and know when I go through periods like this I can't remember to say: I believe I can do this this time. Let's you and I say that
to ourselves and just forget about the bad times when we slip. We don't lose when we quit trying. But, we DO when
we write everything down and move around a little. Let's
do that, too. Love you, phillie
Phyllis M1 said,
March 11, 2010 8:26 PM
Dearest Mary Angel, I cannot imagine how much pain you
must have been in from that horrible wreck; which you had
mentioned to me before, but losing your father at the same time is unbearable, almost. And yet you did it. You remember why I named you Mary Angel? Because of the Cheebs reminding me of cherub and there you have it! I think you have done an amazing job of being a wonderful and supportive Kimmie. Love you, phyllis
Marycheebs said,
March 11, 2010 4:57 PM
Tammy (nightowl)-
Thanks. God definitely was with me that's for sure. I thank him everyday for that!!! He's my rock!!!
BTW- you can watch tonight's meeting on the member's page. Just look under the archived meetings. I think Kim has it posted by morning... Enjoy your concert. Sounds like fun fun fun!!!!!
Mary
NightowlTJRD said,
March 11, 2010 4:03 PM
I feel really bad that I will be missing my first "live" meeting and Survivor. I will finally be going to a Elton John and Billy Joel concert that they kept cancelling for almost a whole year!! And since I paid $100 for one ticket I will not miss it!! Is there a way I can watch tonight's meeting later on? Please let me know how, because I really want to see it. Hope everyone is doing well!! Mary that story about your accident and your father took my breath away!! It must be a miracle you are alive!! Take care all!!
T T F N!!!
Tammy (Nightowl)
Donna Lawhorn said,
March 11, 2010 3:40 PM
Donna from VA
Thank you for the wonder article, it help remind me of what I am tryign to accomplish no matter what I am facing at this time in my life. I have not been doing good at things these last few days, in fact because I was not careful and indulged I have a few pound to work on plus more to lose. But i am not going to beat myself up but start anew and be more careful, plan and track my actions.
So happy for all that have a lost this week, yahoo!
Look forward to tonight see ya there.
Donna Sue
Donna Lawhorn said,
March 11, 2010 3:39 PM
Donna from VA
Thank you for the wonder article, it help remind me of what I am tryign to accomplish no matter what I am facing at this time in my life. I have not been doing good at things these last few days, in fact because I was not careful and indulged I have a few pound to work on plus more to lose. But i am not going to beat myself up but start anew and be more careful, plan and track my actions.
So happy for all that have a lost this week, yahoo!
Look forward to tonight see ya there.
Donna Sue
DJ said,
March 11, 2010 2:40 PM
Hi Everyone,
I hope all of you are well and having a great day.
Kim, I remember my Dad being gone before he could see what I had finally accomplished, but I was comforted by believing that he was putting in a good word for me up there and maybe that's part of what helped me see it through. Today I needed this scripture more than I can say. Thank you for all you do to encourage and support all of us. Thanks for just being YOU! :)
Much love and hugs to all of you.
I hope to "see" you all this evening.
Donna
May you always be overwhelmed by the
Grace of God, rather than by the cares of life.
Marycheebs said,
March 11, 2010 1:55 PM
Hey Guy's!
Hope today is going well for all of you. I can't believe its Thursday already!!!
Maggie hang in there girl, you'll be all moved in and settled before you know it. I'm sending up some prayers for you right now!!!
Jane- what can I say!!! I'm so glad your here! I'm working on that 100%! Please pray for me with that, I'm struggling!!!!
Kim, this story makes me cry every time I read it... I lost my dad almost 3 years ago to a heart attack too. I was leaving my home 2 hours away from my parents to visit with them Memorial day weekend when I was struck head-on by a cargo trailer that had come undone from a truck going in the opposite direction across a 4 lane highway. I never got to say goodbye or tell my dad how much I loved him because he passed away at the same time of my wreck...I miss him very much! So, Even though I'm not at my goal weight and it is taking me forever to get there, I have never given up. My dad wouldn't want me to just give up!
So guys no matter what DON"T GIVE UP!!!
Love you guys and I'm so thankful for each and everyone of you!!!
See you tonight,
Mary (marycheebs)
maggiebaby said,
March 11, 2010 12:32 PM
Kim, I remember reading this in your book, and I like so many others cried along with you. I lost my dad almost 11 years ago, and he watched me go through this whole weight struggle off and on since I was about 12 years old. You are so very blessed to have family that cared about you so much:) Thanks for your perspective on everything we are going through out here--you know what it's like in the 'real' world since you've been there yourself.
The stress of this move is about to kill me, Kimmies. Trying to get everything out of the old and into the new, and get the old house clean for the renters who are moving in on MONDAY (yes, as in a few days), and then get everything out of the garage at the new house and actually where it goes so we can park our cars in the garage--what a concept, huh! is making me a truly crabby not very nice person right now, and I don't like it. Add to that the fact that I'm not eating the way I should--as in maybe 1-2 meals a day, because I'm trying to get everything done, well, let's just say it's not a pretty picture. Please send up some prayers for me and for the rest of my household that I don't snap, lol.
God will see me through this as He has done so many other things. I just have to let it go, right?
Margaret:)
laurensmyprincess said,
March 11, 2010 12:03 PM
Good Morning Everyone,
I hope everyone is having a great OP day.
Yesterday's doctor appointment went good. The doctor is wanting to break up the last surgery into two parts...because of the time it took with the first one 11 hours. He's thinking with the extensive work that needs to be done that he will need to do, that he will need to do my legs in a seperate surgery. Pros for me are that I will recover faster and it will be easier for me to get around having my legs to use when my stomach is done and vis versa when the legs are done I will have my stomach...the down side is of course waiting longer to get things done, and of course it's more MONEY...two surgeries means paying for the facility and anesthesiologist x 2 instead of only one more time. They were behind yesterday so my appointment went late and I wasn't able to get the money break downs...so today I have to wait for that...blah! TOM is on it's way and I bloated and have an on going headache, which I think is stemming from a stiff neck...sleeping on back is a real drag.
I have training tonight with Kristen and I'm really looking forward to it. We are still taking it slow which is hard for me. I'm hoping to get on the bike for a little before hand.
Sorry for no personals...I'm heading out the door for my haircut/color appointment...then off to my much needed therapy appointment.
I can't wait to see all of you at tonights meeting. Kim your such a blessing all of us...I can never tell you how much you help me everyday. :o)
Congrats to all our losers!
Good luck to everyone weighing in today. God Bless,
Kara-Lee
Current total weight loss 173.4lbs
19lbs left to lose
Goal Weight 119lbs
Chris Z (not verified) said,
March 11, 2010 11:54 AM
Kim, You truly are an inspiration for me. Finding you, your website and the positive folks who frequent here have truly been a blessing for me. Like you this is my bijilianth time of dieting...but it is different for me this time and I have you to thank. Continued strength and courage to encourage us all! God bless.
samida said,
March 11, 2010 11:16 AM
I remember reading this from your book and was very touched. "Let the success of your diet give you some small measure of joy and strength when you face tough times, instead of letting the difficult circumstances pull you away from your diet," particularly sticks with me. When we are forced into circumstances totally out of our control we certainly lift the fork to our mouths ourselves... what a strong reminder.
I won't be with ya'll tonight in chat, as my son and I are taking that special class that runs to April. My thoughts will be with you. Since Thursday is my weigh in day I also wanted to share that I lost another 1.2 pounds this week! :)
Have a great chat tonight and thank you again, Kim, for that powerful message.
Miriam
Kathleen Brady said,
March 11, 2010 9:37 AM
Hi Everyone! I weighed in this morning and stayed the same week for the 3rd week in a row. I stewed about that during the meeting and finally talked about it. I have been on prednisone for 2 weeks, low dose (10mg) and thought that shouldn't make that big of a difference in my weight loss. Anyway, my leader and the other members were so enlightening and supportive. Apparently my leader took prednisone for 2 weeks after first becoming a WW leader and gained 9 lbs! So I am so pleased with my maintaining! I'll take it. Glad I asked!
Kim, binging is my #1 problem. When I get that managed better, my maintenance and weight loss will be significantly improved if not totally. I would love to see a meeting on this subject. My younger brother and I both have this problem and have been talking about it.
Phyllis, I wrote in the previous blog that I fixed the WW egg rolls and they were delicious! My husband loves them too. I took a bag of cole slaw mix and stir fried that with onions, mushrooms, ginger and garlic. I added some soy sauce 2 tsp of cornstarch to remove some of the liquid, and salt and pepper. Then I wrapped the mixture in egg roll wrappers, sprayed with Pam (need to get the mister!) and popped them into the oven for about 30 mins at 350 degrees. I'll definitely make that recipe again, and of course, it can be adapted with shrimp, chicken, tofu etc. Yum!
I am still eating the Dr. Oz brownies I fixed last week. They really are amazing! I don't need the frosting, so will eliminate that the next time I bake them.
Tammy, you sound like your life is making a huge turn in a good direction! Congrats!
I'll chat with everyone tonight when I attend tonights meeting. Love you all. K
kim said,
March 11, 2010 7:36 AM
SEE YOU ALL AT THE MEETING TONIGHT! :)
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