In my blogs, on TV and in my book, Finally Thin, I've never hidden the fact that my poor eating habits influenced my children. I think many overweight moms have similar experiences ... and feel the same guilt.
Statistically 70% of obese adolescents become obese adults. But it doesn't HAVE to be that way. I asked Aleeta if she wouldn't mind sharing her story to encourage those of you who are afraid for your children. Who feel guilty and concerned when you see them following in your footsteps. If you think that MY weight loss influenced my daughter's weight loss, you're wrong. She went first. Here's Aleeta's story ...
I was never tiny – just average – until my parents decided to homeschool my brother and me. Suddenly we were at home all day. Lunch was either a box of macaroni and cheese or an entire frozen Mystic pizza, followed by a bag or two of butter lover's popcorn (and of course I would lick the inside of the bag). We went through popsicles and cartons of ice cream on a weekly basis.
It actually took me longer than you'd think to realize I was a big girl. At 12 years old I was 5'2", 140 pounds, and still the smallest person living in my house. It started to hit me when I began going to our church youth group and started to realize the ease with which other girls moved - they could curl up on the couches, stand up to hug a late-arriving friend, then perch delicately on the arm of the couch to make room for more girls. They looked comfortable. Meanwhile I felt best when sitting slightly slouched in a folding chair (I felt I could move more gracefully without the plushy couch surrounding me), shirt carefully arranged in wrinkles down my front so the folds looked like they were more shirt than fat rolls.
I remember crying to my mom after a sleepover - my friends were all starting to get some sense of fashion and were all exchanging clothes. Everyone except for me. I cried to her that I was the largest of all my friends; no one else even came close to my size. Now I think back on that conversation and realize just how much hearing it must have hurt her as well.
The week of my 13th birthday, I had my first full physical with my new female pediatrician. It was an experience I'd rather forget. The doctor pulled out a chart of my weight history and had a great time pointing out the sharp upward turn the graph had taken that first year of homeschooling. She told me I was beyond chubby - that at 145 pounds I was fat - and because of it no one in life would love me. I was told my friends would say they liked me, and maybe someday I would have a boyfriend that would lie about loving me, but that unless I got healthy, true love and acceptance would be beyond my grasp. She said I would have a hard life, that even strangers wouldn't be nice to me - all because I was overweight. My mom did her best to console me after that traumatizing experience, but what can you really say to a young girl in that situation?
When I was 14 (and at my peak of 165 pounds), after purchasing my very first size 16 dress, something inside me clicked. I wanted to do something about this. I tried to do what I could - order one less taco, get a kids' meal instead of a value meal, have a water instead of a soda, try to squeeze in a short walk around my school schedule. For months I kept track of my daily weight in dry erase marker around the border of my vanity mirror: Day 1 - 165, Day 2 - 165, Day 3 - 164.5.... But being my age, in my family, that's about all I could do.
Until my first summer job.
My best friend and I had been riding horses since elementary school. The summer I was 14, we started working as counselors at the summer camps held at the barn. It was brutal - we were running around after hyperactive ten year olds, hoisting them up into their saddles, jogging around for hours each day leading the campers' horses around and around the outdoor ring in the blazing heat. Since neither my friend nor I could drive, anything we wanted to eat for the day had to be brown-bagged. Given my lack of great culinary history, I just started packing fruits, veggies, pretzels, and tuna sandwiches for lunch. My resolve was strongest in the mornings - I knew that by the time the afternoon rolled around I would be craving the stack of Spaghettio's hanging out in my cupboard at home. But once I was dropped off at the barn, I was stuck with whatever I had packed. It was being away from the house that enabled me to follow through with my new motivation.
By the end of the second summer, I was running next to the horses with one hand on the reins and the other holding up my already-taken-in jeans. Being away from the influence of home gave me the head start I needed to change some of the habits that had been ingrained in me. Today, at 24, I'm careful with my weight, but I don't have the draw for food that my mom has.
That was my turning point. And as soon as I had hit my goal weight, my mom had a turning point of her own.
Comments
Anonymous (not verified) said,
May 11, 2011 5:11 AM
Thank so much you have no idea what this did for me
CarrieL said,
April 19, 2011 6:16 PM
This video is one that I am going to keep coming back to when I have those weeks that I may be "up" on the scale! I just returned to WW 3 weeks ago and am down 6.6 lbs. so far. Kim's book and the Bible are my driving forces on this final journey to my goal weight. I have also been on this yo yo weight loss journey for at least 15 years. I struggled in high school to manage my weight. I was not overweight then, but I thought I was. Then in college I became overweight and now since being married I have been obese. I am determined to keep moving in the downward direction and I keep Kim's book right next to my WW 3 month journal. Thanks for sharing the story Kim and reminding me that the moment I stop writing things down, is the moment I start gaining.
Cam (not verified) said,
January 4, 2011 7:30 AM
When I attended WW meeting years ago, everyone would stop by the bathroom before being weighed. One woman joked that she even cleaned beneath her fingernails before coming to meetings!
Anonymous (not verified) said,
July 28, 2010 12:38 PM
I LOVE YOU BOTH!!! THANKS FOR THE SCALE DEMO BECAUSE I WAS FEELING SO BAD AFTER I WEIGHED AND NOW I KNOW IT WAS THE WATER!!!
bama girl said,
May 16, 2010 7:52 PM
Aleeta & Kim, thank you for sharing your story and for the video. We put so much emphasis on the reading on the scale and it is very misguided. We should focus on how we have made better choices. Aleeta, you are a beautiful young lady. I know your mom is so very proud.
cezale said,
May 9, 2010 5:54 PM
Aleeta & Kim, Beautiful story from a beautiful girl who has a beautiful mom. Thanks for sharing. Happy Mother's Day! Chris
Phyllis M1 said,
May 8, 2010 8:49 PM
Dear Aleeta, that was a great story and it will help
so many who read it. You are such a beautiful young lady
and I know your mother is so very proud of you. Your
whole family seems to be there for this wonderful lady
at every moment. She is a great lady and we all love
her so much. She has given so much of herself. Thank
you for these beautiful words. Love Phyllis
Sheila Day (not verified) said,
May 6, 2010 9:20 PM
Kudos to you!!! Aleeta, I know you have not seen me in many years. I am your cousin Sheila. Your mom, uncle Dave and I spent many summers as children. Your mom and I were large as children also. I only wish we had the courage and insight you had, if so your mom and I would have never gotten as large as we got. I am still obese, however still loosing, slow and healthy. Aunt Jane is down to 135 lbs. I am still over 200 at 5'6", but getting thinner!!!! Love to you all, Sheila and Jane
Anonymous (not verified) said,
May 6, 2010 11:47 AM
One of the most power things I have ever watched -- really made an impact in my life. Thank you!
Marcia Wilwerding (not verified) said,
May 6, 2010 10:25 AM
Thank you so much for that reminder. That could explain why my weight fluctuates so much on weigh-in day. Sometimes I drink as much as six cups of fluids in the morning, including taking meds and my coffee. This tells me there are things I can do to get a consistent reading: drink the same amount of fluids each morning I will weigh in, go to the bathroom before weighing in (both #1 *and* #2), and avoid extra salt and sugar (known fluid retainers) the night before. Great video!
mary ellen said,
May 5, 2010 5:36 PM
This is very similar to me and my daughters sitiuation, except for years off and on we tried different diets, and the weight still piled on. The last we did was WW, and when we went together we tried, but we would always have excuses to eat this or that, that we shouldnt. She never really fit in with kids at school or church because of her intelligence and I would comfort her and myself with food.
When my daughter was in high school, I had to take her to the dr for high blood pressure.
When she went away to college she had all of that knowledge from ww in her head and she lost 70 lbs her freshmen year away from me, she went form a 18W to a 6. She will be 25 this month and I am proud to say that she has kept every ounce off and she is a runner.
janechia said,
May 5, 2010 5:33 PM
Wonderful story Aleeta! Thanks for sharing with us.
That scale demo is the BEST!
Hugs,
Jane
broken crown said,
May 5, 2010 5:03 PM
Aleeta, you are truly an inspiration that someone so young could turn it around all by themselves. You have taught me a lesson or two, or three.☺
Thanks for sharing. Being the "fat" girl growing up and no one sharing clothes with me, or not curling up on a sofa, yeah that brings back some not too great experiences. Though I did not have that pivotal point like you, I just wallowed and purged everything I would binge on...thus leading to a lifetime of yo-o dieting!
Time for a true change from the core of my being.
Thanks Aleeta, you are the best!
Amanda (not verified) said,
May 5, 2010 2:29 PM
Congratulations to both Aleeta and her mom Kim! How wonderful you both took control of your life. And that water demo is so true! You can look at 1 weigh in and let that control you or how well you did that day or week. You have to look at the overall picture.
I've lost 90 lbs on weight watchers. I'm 2 lbs away from goal. Now, will I be so much thinner two lbs from now than I am right now? Not really. But it's the mental goal that I'm striving for right now.
Great job again!
armywife516 said,
May 5, 2010 1:39 PM
Kim,
As usual you hit on things that are so close to home. I am sitting here just bawling. Thank you SO MUCH Aleeta for sharing your story with us. What a beautiful young lady you are. I loved the demonstration w/ the water!
When I became pregnant w/ my first child I used to pray that God would give me a boy so I wouldn't have to worry as much . I was so worried if I had a daughter I would completely mess her up. Well, not only did God NOT listen(lol) he went on and not listened 2 more times, lol. SO now I have 3 daughters and 2 sons(last two were my boys, lol) and I made a vow to do my best to teach them to be healthy.
Well I had gotten my daughter(soon to be 11) a book from American Girl. It was all about what is normal etc..girls would write in and ask questions. I almost ripped the page out of the book that talked about Eating/Eating Disorders. I decided though because Jenna is going into Middle School in the fall, I needed to talk to her about ALL of it. I know she might start to hear things, and I figured if I talked to her about it before hand then maybe hearing it from girls at school wouldn't be so hard on her.
So last night I took a deep breath and had my talk w/ her. Of course after I was done I worried, did I say too much? Did I put the thought in her head now(eating disorders)..
We talked about eating healthy..they see me exercise all the time and I always say I do it for energy and to be healthy. I try to stay away from anything to do w/ my weight. I just pray soo hard for my girls to develop into young ladies that don't go through such hard struggles as I did w/ bulimia(in h.s) and binge eating.
So, thank you Kim and Aleeta so much..it meant so much to me to read this. ((((HUGS))))
Love,
Holly
Post a comment